


Behind Blue Eyes

by shaneo6930



Series: Mac + Stiles [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But they help each other feel less guilty, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilty MacGyver, Guilty Stiles, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Spoilers for MacGyver 2x10, spoilers for Teen Wolf 5x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 07:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13947189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaneo6930/pseuds/shaneo6930
Summary: After newly turned Mac learns why his eyes are blue in his wolf form, the guilt keeps him up late. Stiles helps him through the guilt and pain.





	Behind Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's part 2 of my Mac + Stiles saga, and it is pure angst. But it's something I wanted to write. Now, a note, I haven't seen season 2 of MacGyver, but I saw the episode War Room + Ship in gif form and read about it in recaps, so I hope I've gotten it as close as possible. 
> 
> Title from the song Behind Blue Eyes by The Who

Stiles awoke in the middle of the night to find the other half of the large queen size bed empty, the blankets scrunched up. “Mac?” he called out into the night. Stiles and his boyfriend Mac had been together for about a month now, and were settled into the falling asleep cuddling together phase of their relationship; which was Stiles’ favorite part of dating a werewolf. They were just so warm and cuddly.

He climbed out of the bed, shivering at the cold floor on his bare feet, and walked out of the bedroom.  “Mac? Where are you?” he called out, wondering where his boyfriend is.

“Outside,” the deep voice that always shook Stiles to the core replied. Stiles turned toward the backdoor and stepped out on to the back deck of Mac’s house. “I never realized how beautiful this view is,” Stiles said, sitting down next to his boyfriend around the fire pit. “I can see why you spend so much time out here.”

“I like to think the view was most of the reason my grandfather built the house here,” Mac replied, taking a sip of the beer in his hand.

“Why are you drinking at this hour?” Stiles asked, worried.

“It’s not like I can get drunk,” Mac told him. “Your friend Scott took care of that one for me.” Stiles reached over and took the bottle away from Mac. “Okay,” he said slowly. “I get you’re not really in the best mood right now, but drinking isn’t going to solve it.” He then got up and placed the nearly empty bottle into Mac’s recycling bin. He then sat back down beside Mac. “So, what’s going on?”

“I talked to your friend Derek today,” Mac said, low.

“And he drove you to drink after only one conversation?”  Stiles asked trying to lighten the mood. “Damn.”

“He told me about his girlfriend Paige,” he said. “About why some wolves have blue eyes.”

“I didn’t want to ask,” Stiles said. “I assumed it was because of your time in the army.’

“It could be that, but his story just brought up some painful memories for me.”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” Stiles assured his boyfriend. Mac leaned his head onto Stiles’ shoulder. “If I’m ever going to get past this, I have to talk about it.”

He took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Last year, there was this ship that was stuck in the Arctic Ocean,” he began. “It was a college class of 31 students and their teacher, and they reached out to us. Their teacher was this girl named Zoe Kimura.”

“Was?” Stiles asked. “You mean she—“

“I’m getting there,” Mac told him. “I told Zoe how to fix some things to keep the power on and the ship afloat until the Coast Guard got there. While we were doing that, we really hit it off, and even planned to meet when she got back to the mainland.”

His breath started to hitch. “Then, a breach in the side of the ship got bigger. There was no other way to stop it, but for her to stay in the room as it flooded, and seal the door from the inside.”

Stiles wrapped Mac up in a warming hug. “You don’t’ have to go any further,” He said, running a hand through Mac’s dark blonde hair.

“I watched her die, and it was all my fault.”

“The way I understand it, you couldn’t have stopped it from happening,” Stiles told Mac.

“But I showed her how to seal the door,” Mac cried.

“But you didn’t breach that hull,” Stiles reiterated. “She chose to stay behind to save her students. I’m going to go against all I am right now, but remember Spock’s dying words in Wrath of Khan. The needs of the many…”

Mac sniffed. “Outweigh the needs of the few,” he finished the saying. “Or the one. Thanks, Stiles.”

Stiles stood up and held out his hand. “What do you say we go back inside? I know your wolfiness keeps you warm, but I’m pretty cold out here.” Mac took the offered hand and stood. “You’re shivering,” Mac said, worried, as he walked close to Stiles, warming him as they went inside.

Once back in Mac’s bedroom, the two boys climbed under the covers. “Stiles, are you okay?” Mac asked. “Your heartbeat sounds off.”

“It’s only fair I tell you,” Stiles sighed. “If I were a wolf, my eyes would be just as blue as yours.”

“What?” Mac asked, softly.

Stiles sat up, and pulled his t-shirt off. “You see this on my right shoulder?” he asked. Mac sat up, and leaned in to the boy, and noticed a starburst shaped scar on the back of Stiles’ right shoulder.

“When I was 17, there was this guy named Donovan,” Stiles started. “He was a career criminal at 20, and had a special hatred for my dad. One night, my jeep broke down at school, and when I was fixing it, he attacked me.”

“With what?” Mac asked, still studying the scar.

“He was turned into a monster that had a mouth full of  teeth in his palm,” Stiles laughed. “Sorry, I know it’s not funny, but it’s how I deal with this shit,”

“I understand,” Mac said, turning Stiles toward him.

“He  chased me into the school, and was threatening to eat my legs. I tried to get away from him by climbing this scaffolding from construction in the library. He caught me halfway up, and in my desperation I found a pin holding a shelf up. I pulled it, hoping the shelf would fall and knock him down. It instead unleashed a lot of metal rods that impaled him.”

Mac didn’t say anything. Just pulled Stiles close in a warm embrace. “I didn’t mean to kill him,” Stiles said, softly. “I just wanted to get away.”

“It was you or him,” Mac whispered softly.

“Not a day goes by I don’t hate myself for it, though.”

“You said it yourself though,” Mac told him. “He was going to kill you. I’ve had to make that decision before, and it sucks.”

“Does it ever stop following you?” Stiles asked behind a sniffle.

“It gets easier. That’s the best way I can put it. It gets easier.”

Stiles straightened up and left Mac’s hug. “Look at us, huh? We’re just all kinds of fucked up.”

Mac chuckled at this. “But I wouldn’t want you any other way, Stiles. I love you just the way you are.”

“I love you the way you are too, Mac,” Stiles yawned. “Can you hold me while we sleep?”

Mac grabbed Stiles and slid both of them down into the bed. He then pulled the blankets around their shoulders. “Only if you hold me back,” he whispered, pulling Stiles in close.

“I can do that,” Stiles whispered back, wrapping his arms around Mac’s broad shoulders.

And that’s how Stiles found out one of Mac’s most devastating secrets.  And how Mac found out one of Stiles’. Mac still carried the guilt of Zoe with him, but it was lighter, knowing he wasn’t alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the next Mac/Stiles story will be much happier! Tis was just some angst I wanted to get out. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


End file.
